Why do open-ended assignments leave me bathed in loneliness?

Why do I crave structure? Why does the freedom to schedule my day leave me feeling adrift rather than invigorated?

Why do I feel lonely in crowds and connected in a room with but another soul?

Two of my closest friends from Chicago are not here right now. And then I will leave before they return. It is a strange feeling to leave a city I have grown up in; to leave a community not really feeling a part of it anymore, without these people I love to send me off.

I suppose we are destined to travel, not only in pursuit of new connections but also to chase after the people we love.

And I realized recently that while I'm not always likable the connections I do make can amaze me. Conversations with some friends seem to generate wisdom, and enrich my understanding of my own ideas and questions.

I need to find peace with being alone. I need to accept time I spend alone as valuable. This is a goal.

Examination

The examined life. How do I lead it?